Navigating Your New Pregnancy with Loss Parents

Pregnancy is often a fun, exciting, and carefree time for most people. However, it can be complicated for those who have experienced loss. Here are some dos and don'ts when announcing your new pregnancy to loss parents.

 

  • Be mindful when announcing your pregnancy or birth. Pregnancy and birth announcements bring up many conflicting feelings for those who have experienced loss or infertility. Sending them a text message to let them know you are expecting prior to announcing at a get together or on social media can go a long way. Oftentimes a text message is more well received than telling them in person so they have time to process their emotions before responding (if they even do respond).
  • Acknowledge that it might bring up complicated feelings for them. They likely will be "happy for you but sad for me."
  • Follow their lead. They may want to know all about your pregnancy or pretend it isn’t happening, and those feelings could change from day to day.
  • Include the parents in events. Ask if they want to be invited to the gender reveal, baby shower, etc. before sending the invitation, but don’t not invite them.
  • Don’t be offended if they aren't mentally or physically available to to celebrate your baby. It’s not that they’re not happy for you, it is likely too hard for them to be around pregnant people or new babies.
  • Acknowledge and celebrate her baby. She was pregnant and had a baby too. She may want to share about her pregnancy and birth.
  • Follow Push for Empowered Pregnancy and Count the Kicks on social media. The last thing loss parents want is for you to be in their shoes.